BN Prose: Who Get Time to Carry Face? by Amara Nnaji

“Bhet, why you dey para give her take care of that na?” Lantana smirked, a wry smile tugging at her lips. Lantana is my alter ego. Her only job in this lifetime is to annoy my lifestyles. A self-appointed public prosecutor, even supposing her responsibilities lengthen past the monetary. She constantly implants herself all over me, acting as a take a look at and steadiness in my lifestyles.

I caught her survey, then averted mine and not using a note.

“Why you dey rake for the babe take care of drawl na your nation you dey?”

“I correct tire for their ignorance, and I no salvage vitality to argue with fools right this moment”, I returned with a sardonic smile. 

“Lack of awareness bawo?”

“If no bi ignorance wetin dey assemble of us behave dinky-mindedly in the direction of others? You saw the crap she correct did. I proffered my card, nevertheless her card reader couldn’t read it. And their card reader constantly does that, unlike the opposite bus company. How then is that my fault? I told her that if I strive again, my card will seemingly be blocked for 45 days, yet she insisted I attempted thrice without success. She soundless attain dey direct me nonsense drawl assemble I attain down watch for the next bus. She drink?”

I exhaled sizzling steam take care of an Ox into the bitter iciness air as I glared at Lantana.

“Ọmọ, you need to soundless be calming down for these of us. If to converse she assemble you attain down, you for attain wait one hour for the next bus?

“Dem no born her nicely. Abi, you no hear me direct am in state she drawl assemble I attain down watch for the next bus?”

“You direct am? Which period?”

“Mscheww, whenever you happen to dey busy dey plod nostril interior wetin no pain you ways you wan take hear? She drawl she dey sprint, and wan tear, drawl assemble I attain down watch for the next bus if I no salvage money. Na why I originate para for her be dat na. Am I asking you for a free lag? I gave you a card which didn’t work for your card reader, I possess £4.35 money, which is lower than the £5 fare, and likewise you are telling me crap.”

“You no even let her talk about. Na only your relate I hear,” Lantana cackled take care of a Lagos conductor that lastly managed to push you out of your lane.

“Which nonsense again she desire talk about? If she salvage sense sebi she for correct salvage that money take care of that, attain dey talk about take care of drawl I no salvage money.”

“Na wetin me tear over Naija for be dat o. As your money quick, conductor for correct drawl assemble you enter, or one other passenger tear correct pay for you. Nonetheless these ones, all of them correct siddon, soundless take care of drawl dem no salvage where dem dey tear.”

“But, those are the ones she says I am maintaining up. Produce all of us siddon na.”

“Ah, I tear over Lasgidi sha! Passengers for don dey rake for you since as you prolong driver so.”

“Passengers ke? Na conductor for don leave me wákà since sef. Who salvage that kain time to argue? I nearly slap am when she dey legend.”

“Correct be calming down nne. You perceive drawl your face fit terror an particular person. Not to talk about of your granite relate. The babe know drawl she meet kolo.  She presumably presumed it was one other dusky person that would motivate soundless and…”

“Oh, please! I am bored with playing the bigger person. Despite everything, I no huge sef. Again, na on account of all these dusky of us dey motivate soundless for them naim assemble dem think drawl na dem holy tear.”

“Doh. Now you’ll likely be in a location to hearken to your audiobook.” Lantana placates.

“Sure, oo, let me time out this…”

“She is talking to you.” Lantana motions me to the bus driver. I seek for at her.

“Manufacture you’ve gotten the Stagecoach app?” She enquired conciliatorily.

I shake my head. She has taken me without warning. From where to where? Shifted from animosity to placatory.

“You don’t possess the app downloaded?” She speaks again.

“Nay. I don’t want to, nevertheless my son has,” I comment.

“Okay”. She goes motivate to her steering. Girl to lady, I recognise the peace providing for what it is miles. And derive it. I lean motivate into my e book, ignoring Lantana within the intervening time. I was so long gone unless the light faucet on my shoulder.

It was Lantana.

“Babe, we don attain.”

As I alighted, I turned into to the motive force and said, “Thanks.”

“Thanks too, and Chuffed Fresh one year”, the motive force answered cheerily.

“Aww, you continue to direct am thanks despite everything that drama?” Lantana drawled, winking.

“It’s called civility and maturity,” I said, smiling ruefully. “Who salvage time to motivate face?”