BN Prose: Inside the Mind of an Immigrant By Amara Nnaji

As current commuters crowded into the issue, I looked up from the help the procure we sat and saw her. Already seated. She took up your total row supposed for three and stretched out, lounging along with her feet on the chairs. The truth that it was once a location and passengers were coming in didn’t faze her. As she leaned forward, chirping to her friends across the aisle, she belief in her world, anyone who couldn’t gain a seat ought to serene both stand or grasp.

I stared at her and cringed.

Dear God, how attain humans positioned on their footwear in a shared public facility? Or is it me? There is just not any such thing as a level of integration that might perchance also accomplish me quit cringing and compile it as the norm.

Don’t even mention adaptability and accepting folks as they’re. Here is so injurious on all phases. I might perchance also literally hear my buddy Chinwe in Lagos complaining about my fastidiousness over which footwear is accessible in or stays the procure. 

I mean, you step delivery air your glass and gape at it from the delivery air-in.  A footwear which parades in every single location, picks up all kinds of germs – in conjunction with stepping on dog poop – is plunked straight onto a communal chair or table. Where is the common sense in that? And I am anticipated to fake it doesn’t misfortune me? Transfer on and write it off as one more tradition shock? This goes previous tradition shock. It is etiquette and manners.

“There we slide again, the war of the savages and barbarians.”

“Oh, please, Lantana, valid stuff it!”

“Sorry o, what did I bellow now?”

“You valid inferred that it’s alright to location soiled footwear on chairs and tables.”

“At what level did I bellow that? You are procuring for a scapegoat.”

“Then what did you mean by the war of the barbarians and savages?”

“Lady, I am with you on this. I was once referring to that line in Pocahontas when she sang in regards to the colonists. How they referred to the indigenes as barbarians, whereas they, the invaders, were in actuality savages. Bear you ever forgotten that comic strip? We watched it together…”

“I be pleased joor. Merely not within the temper in your comic strip now.”

“Babe, I am in your facet right here o. No be me be oyibo wey dey assign leg for chair.”

“As in, dem no dey reason am? Explore around you. You step out of your own house into a bus, issue, library, or valid about any shared site and you don’t know which germs you are intelligent help house with you. I know germs are in every single location, and right here’s not even OCD, however attain they not gather it? And it’s both young and worn. All individuals who can simply plop their footwear on shared sitting areas with out a belief for the subsequent person.”

“As in, we never even talk about dog be pleased attain.”

“Ah, don’t gather me started! Aja wey dey waka for tiiti, avenue o, without footwear, den come balance on top chair for inner moto.”

“Here is why I indicate for getting an education. Any education: fade, read, museum, history; valid gather out of your head and slide to other lands and cultures. Be taught the components it’s done in other places. Sebi, whenever you happen to read, that it’s doubtless you’ll perchance perhaps learn how other cultures are residing.”

“Madam, all people can’t be equivalent to you.  You practically lived all over Nigeria as a baby and grew up with oyibos.  Then, as an grownup, you kept traversing in every single location as whenever you happen to owed your landlord.”

“Money can never aquire the education I derived. On the least I am not equivalent to you Lagosians, who all is Lagos, but highly opinionated about other parts of the nation.”

“Shuo, we don comot Iya Charlie yard enter Lasgidi now now?”

“All of dem be part of na. The depth of their lack of consciousness rings a bell in my memory of the identical thing help house. Just like the components you Lagosians thumb your noses up on the Northerners and derogatorily call them Aboki or Mallam, without even intellectual the which technique of the phrases. You might perchance perhaps evaluate somebody who has never travelled delivery air of Western Nigeria and speaks easiest one language, but they gape at their Maigadi or househelp and scornfully designate them a bush person.”

“Ehn, after they behave backwards nko? Abi, you don’t evaluate how they…?”

“Gbenu é dàké joo! Mechie ọnụ there! Team container-over-command. As a consequence of this you Lagosians are so without problems beguiled but una deem bellow na una woke pass.”

“Where did container-over-command come into this subject now? How attain you gain it in actuality easy to veer off within the heart of conversations? You and somebody will be heading to Sokoto, the subsequent thing you don divert enter Ogbomoso?”

“Sebi if avenue, that it’s doubtless you’ll perchance perhaps own known that Ogbomosho lies on that route to Sokoto. However since na easiest Lagos and airport without even finding out the bodily Geography of your nation, how I wan enable you to?  Anyway, as I was once asserting previous to, you rudely interrupted my tirade, a one who has lived in nations you easiest read of and shuttled between borders whose names that it’s doubtless you’ll perchance perhaps also’t issue, someone who speaks Hausa, Fulfulde, French, Arabic, Idoma, Igala, Egun, besides the English you retain in touch. You gape at such an individual and designate them an illiterate.

Because your eyes estimate them as not woke equivalent to you, you imagine you are smarter than they’re. No longer intellectual that in addition they gape at you pityingly. Yes, with pity since it’s the form of jarring tradition shock for them to gape the components you pride in making the most of others. They shake their heads with pity on the depth of depravity which makes one gloat about ripping others off.  Abi no bi wetin una dey call ‘smooth’ be dat? However imagine whenever you happen to had travelled and lived among them. Like in actuality mingle with them, not cease cocooned up in a hotel or your relative’s house within the GRA.”

“GRA?  What’s that?”

“Authorities Reserved Build. What you now time-frame an Property.”

“Reserved abi residential?”

“Very humorous. Something I knew from well-known college, naim you wan argue with me now.”

“Wait, why am I even having this conversation with somebody who doesn’t know what GRA stands for? How worn are you again?”

“Even as you hear Ikeja or Papa GRA, what attain you imagine it technique?”

“I don’t deem something else. I merely deem it’s a title.”

“Ha! And right here I am, seeking to stamp to awọn oyibo why we attain not lift delivery air footwear within the house.”

“Yes, I was once also seeking to learn why, as I don’t understand why the Northerners accomplish a fuss about it. It’s not even like they sit on the chairs sef, folks who fold their legs on the bottom.”

“A fuss?”

“So that you mean, approved sense doesn’t enable you to know that that it’s doubtless you’ll perchance perhaps not lift delivery air germs inner?”

“Point out.”

“Even as you gallop delivery air, your footwear derive things. Things that shouldn’t come into a house, and didn’t you valid bellow they sit on the flooring now? So, there I am, defending the cleanliness of my house because I identify on being grounded with nature, then you definately thoughtlessly lift in your delivery air footwear and contaminate my smooth site ba? Furthermore, you bellow Northerners as if it’s easiest extra special to Nigeria. It is a tradition unfold across Muslim societies, be they in Africa or the Arab world, plus many of the Asian world, no subject their faith… Bear you ever heard in regards to the Japanese Tatami or the Korean Ondol?”

“Nope.”

“What number of religions are in India?”

“I don’t know joor. All these your WAEC questions,” Lantana walks away.

“No o, come help. Don’t gallop away but. You don’t know the religions in India, however attain that they all sit on the bottom?”

“If truth be told?”

“Yes. If truth be told. However you evaluate, as your exiguous mind has biased you to deem it’s easiest Hausas who sit on the bottom because in your head dem no fit manage to pay for chair or na dem soiled pass. You understand bellow these oyibo sef sit on the bottom too?”

“Na so I evaluate o. However how come they assign on footwear into the house, on chairs, tables, beds, etc?”

“Woo, that one misfortune dem. Pipu wey dey let dog lick their face. And that’s the procure social intelligence is accessible in. Within the event you mingle with others, that it’s doubtless you’ll learn and understand what is offensive, across cultures, in social interactions and the blueprint to not offend. Which is why I like the smash classes their foreign offices provide to vacationers and expats. They suppose them upfront that within the contemporary nation that it’s doubtless you’ll perchance perhaps also be going to, you are a exiguous speck, and the locals no ship you, so you gats behave previous to you slide there delivery toddle like king”

“Babe, sebi you evaluate your hypocrisy?”

“What?”

“So if they slide away their lands, they ought to serene comport themselves and behave as una desire and but you no desire them to chill if dem dey their land?”

“How did you infer that from this conversation, mbok?”

“They are of their land, na papa house be dat abeg. Within the event you no like am, return to your be pleased papa’s house. Shuo! Take into consideration accomplish househelp come dey suppose ya pikin easy recommendations to behave in your own house!”

“Na this day? Even as you no issue your pikin slide away am for househelp nko?”

“See ehn, subsequent time you evaluate person assign leg for chair, both comot ya take into story or lift your green pali come help to Murtala Mohammed Airport.”