Becoming Miss Manchester 2025 as A Single Mother; Monica Oyasor in Today’s “Doing Life With…”

Doing Life With… is a BellaNaija Ingredients sequence that showcases how of us live, work, breeze, fancy their families and… every thing in between. We are documenting the lives of all of us and guaranteeing all people looks to be neatly-represented at BN.

Did you miss our final dialog with Shedrack Salami? You would perchance well presumably derive up right here.

As of late, we’re doing lifestyles with Monica Oyasor, the Rush away out Manchester GB 2025 and a British-Nigerian single mum, a tech entrepreneur, and the founding father of Motherhood Unbound, a growing platform created to encourage single mothers.

Rep pleasure from the dialog!

Whats up Monica. How are you feeling on the present time?

I’m feeling so deeply grateful and grounded. This season of my lifestyles is surreal, balancing motherhood, tech, advocacy, and now standing as Rush away out Manchester GB. Every moment feels purposeful, and being featured on BellaNaija is such an honour. I’m good taking all of it in.

Successfully performed! Expose us about your background—childhood, growing up, education, and something else out of your childhood that influenced who you are on the present time

I changed into once born and raised in Nigeria, and growing up there fashioned my sense of justice, resilience and accountability. From a young age, I changed into once uncovered to many troublesome dynamics, particularly around relationships, marriage, and the societal cases many ladies folk had been subjected to. I witnessed ladies folk endure home abuse and preserve in painful cases simply because they lacked monetary independence or a trusty alternative. Even as a puny lady, I endure in mind pondering: Ultimately, I would favor to create a trusty topic for ladies folk and children to feel considered, supported, and free.

That imaginative and prescient stayed with me for years. But as lifestyles went on, I pursued education, moved to the UK, and constructed a a hit occupation in tech. I started managing global digital transformations and building my independence. Someplace along the capacity, I shelved that dream, pondering I had time.

Then I misplaced my brother, Uduimoh. His passing shook me to my core. It jogged my memory that the following day isn’t promised and reignited my reason. Now, brick by brick, I’m building the lifestyles puny Monica dreamed of, creating spaces that empower ladies folk, telling our tales, and honouring the strength I inherited from my mother, who confirmed me continue to exist and mute stand colossal.

So sorry on your loss

Thanks.

Congratulations on turning into Rush away out Manchester GB 2025. As a tech entrepreneur and single mum, what has balancing these roles taught you about yourself and about womanhood?

Thanks. Balancing these roles has taught me that womanhood is now not about selecting a lane; it’s about embracing your fullness. I’m a tech authentic who leads with technique. I’m a mother raising a intrepid, luminous boy. I’m a charity founder pushed by lived journey. And I’m a beauty queen proving that elegance and impact can coexist.

Being a single mother has made me more intuitive, more grounded, and more pushed. It’s furthermore softened me in the finest capacity, made me more intentional with my time, my vitality, and my express. I’ve learned that womanhood is a sacred dance between strength and softness. And if you honour each, you free up your vitality.

You acknowledged you’ve started building safe spaces for ladies folk. Expose us about this

I started Motherhood Unbound from the opening I felt firsthand, each emotionally and virtually, once I grew to develop into a single mum. I left my relationship good two weeks postpartum. At a time when most ladies folk are being cared for, I changed into once navigating heartbreak, shame and survival. Society in total views single motherhood as something to be ashamed of, and that stigma is heavy.

I created Motherhood Unbound as a motion to reveal, enhance, and uplift single mothers. It’s a topic where they’re now not judged but neatly-known, where they’re given instruments and language to heal emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually.

As an licensed mindset coach, I furthermore mentor ladies folk thru main lifestyles transitions, whether or now not that’s navigating motherhood, breaking into tech, or rebuilding after lifestyles-altering moments. I allotment free resources like my eBook manual thru the platform to enhance ladies folk in rebuilding holistically.

My mission is to encourage them shift from survival into self-actualisation. To rewrite the parable and remind them that this breeze doesn’t diminish you, it deepens you.

What does it imply so that you can stand on the Rush away out Colossal Britain stage as a British-Nigerian single mother?

It capacity every thing. Pageantry hasn’t considered a mother preserve the Rush away out Colossal Britain title in over 25 years, and now, I stand right here, a single mother, a charity founder, a girl of reason, defying every expectation.

For me, this isn’t about beauty. It’s about visibility. It’s about exhibiting that our tales, our true, uncooked and excellent tales, deserve topic and attention. After I stroll that stage in October for the Rush away out Colossal Britain finals, I’m strolling for every lady who thought her past disqualified her. Every mother who thought her dreams had to die for her child to live.

This isn’t good a crown, it’s a calling. And I’m hoping when of us notice me, they notice proof that your history doesn’t elaborate you; your therapeutic does.

So, how did your Nigerian heritage impact your power and self assurance? How is it influencing the values you’re now instructing your child?

Being Nigerian, more particularly being Edo, has deeply fashioned my grit, grace and grounding. From the meals I cook to the language I talk to my son, our custom lives in every nook of our dwelling. I talk Edo with him, and now he’s started replying. It makes my coronary heart burst with delight.

Our heritage strikes a chord in my memory daily that I reach from strength. It has furthermore helped me accumulate balance in parenting. I derive in comfy parenting, listening, nurturing, but I furthermore preserve topic for firm discipline. As a hyper puny boy, he needs that building. I’m raising him to be kind, but solid. Free, but respectful. Rooted in where he comes from, and assured in where he’s going.

Are you visiting Nigeria rapidly? If sure, are you taking him with you?

Yes, and I’m in a position to’t wait to preserve close him to Nigeria rapidly. I do know he’ll like the vitality, the topic, the of us. It’s dwelling. I’m so angry to reconnect with the vitality of dwelling. Our meals, our of us, our tales. Nigeria is where my fire comes from.

While I’m there, I’ll be internet hosting a shock empowerment tournament, and I’m furthermore participating with a few type brands I like. I’m launch to hundreds of aligned partnerships, whether or now not in media, advocacy, or type, because my coronary heart will not be any doubt to create bridges between my British and Nigerian identities. I would favor to join with the neighborhood, hear, collaborate and establish bigger voices that deserve the spotlight.

I’m sure Nigerians can’t wait to meet you

I’m in a position to’t wait too.

What’s one false impact of us have about single motherhood that you hope your platform can commerce?

That it’s the pause. That you just’re damaged goods. That lifestyles is now something to continue to exist in preference to thrive thru. But the truth is, single motherhood is a reset. It is miles going to also fair be potentially the most transformative, grounding and extremely efficient season of your lifestyles.

At Motherhood Unbound, we encourage ladies folk notice single motherhood as a season of awakening, now not shame. It’s a wager to explore inward, confront patterns and rise as the woman you had been consistently meant to be.

This breeze also can fair be wretched, but comfort in no way created greatness. And seemingly, it’s exhausting. But so is staying caught. We empower ladies folk to leap, to honour the option that led them right here, and to belief the technique. Whether or not they preserve single or remarry, that preference ought to mute reach from a healed, total topic. And if you opt to the therapeutic, this breeze won’t break you. This is in a position to presumably create you.

What motivated your entry into tech, and the way are you the exercise of your skills to enhance hundreds of ladies folk, particularly mothers?

I entered tech sooner than turning into a mum, pushed by my like for programs and technique. Over time, I transitioned into project management and started supplying expert resources to firms imposing ERP programs across diverse industries. It’s opened the door to amazing contract opportunities and allowed me to work on high-impact digital transformations globally.

Tech gave me now not good monetary balance, but flexibility, something that grew to develop into far more treasured once I grew to develop into a mother. I now exercise that journey to mentor ladies folk and discuss navigating occupation pivots, reason, and deepest vitality. By my instructing, I enhance ladies folk thru lifestyles transitions, whether or now not that’s coming into tech, navigating motherhood, or finding readability after a principal shift.

I’m residing proof that you might presumably presumably also fair be strategic and comfortable, company and artistic, a mother and a coast-setter. You don’t have to determine on one lane; you good have to have yours fully.

How has your journey in each the UK and Nigerian communities fashioned your views on reason, identification and representation?

Residing across two cultures has taught me that womanhood, no topic the country, in total comes with shared experiences, particularly around motherhood, identification, and emotional labour.

Whether in the UK or Nigeria, I’ve considered how isolating the postnatal breeze also can fair be. But the difference lies in visibility and enhance. In the UK, there might presumably be more structured enhance, but stigma mute exists. In Nigeria, and even amongst Nigerians in the diaspora, many single mothers undergo in silence due to cultural shame and a shortage of resources.

That inequity made me realise the significance of representation. Women folk have to survey themselves reflected in management, in media, and in empowerment spaces. That’s where gorgeous therapeutic and neighborhood launch.

For lots of ladies folk, particularly single mothers, who also can fair feel unseen, what’s one message you wish to leave them with?

You’re going to be k. Even supposing it doesn’t feel like it on the present time. If you happen to’ve already made the leap, don’t waver. Honour your option. You felt something deeply, and it led you right here. If you happen to’re mute caught in anxiety, I promise, growth lives on the hundreds of aspect of discomfort. This breeze is shaping you into one of potentially the most extremely efficient variations of yourself. And when it gets exhausting, flooring yourself. Exhaust the resources you pause have. Rob one day at a time.

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Thanks for being on Doing Life With, Monica

Thanks for having me.

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Many due to Monica Oyasor for having this dialog with us and answering all our questions – and without be conscious too, we should add.

Raise out you like this grunt, have any feedback for us or would favor to be a BellaNaija Ingredients contributor? We’d like to learn from you. Shoot us an email: [email protected]. Be part of us on Saturday for the subsequent episode!